Have you ever tried to convince a guy to take some pills? It’s not a job for amateurs. Vitamins, Tylenol, Advil, anything, they run away from it like the devil from the exorcist. My theory is that it’s the same thing as with maps. They are fierce creatures, men, born with acute hunting and orientation skills. Also they are tough, resistant to the utmost severe, flu-inducing conditions. Maps are futile. Tylenol is futile.
D is no exception to this stereotype.
He refuses to get a flu shot every time my Mom [an MD] offers the dead virus vaccine. “No thanks, I think I can handle a flu. I’m quite resistant”. Ok, have it your way.
But this winter my careful analysis of his health made me realize that his immune system might actually benefit from some boosting and pumping up. So I went to the drug store and bought some amino acids supplements aimed at beefing up your antibody-producing cells.
Me: “Here, take this” I say handing him 1 tablet and a glass of H2O.
D: “What’s this?”
Me: “It’s an amino acid supplement”.
D: “No, thanks. I don’t need acids”.
Me: “No, it’s an AMINO acid". It’s what you’re made of. See, you’re made of proteins, and proteins…”
D: “Whoaa. Sounds like you’re speaking Italian” [No, he didn’t actually say this. I just added it right now to make the conversation seem more interesting.]
D: “Well, if I’m made of amino acids, I think I have plenty of them. I don’t need any more. No, thanks.”
Me: “But… but… [this is going to be harder than I anticipated] You see, all you’re made of it’s amino acids. And if some of them are not in the right quantities, the proteins won’t function very well”
D: “Wait a minute. I’m not ALL made of amino acids. I’m 70% water. Ha! Bet you didn’t see that coming”
Me: “Resistance is futile. Fine! I give up. Have it your way. No amino acids for you! Just don’t start whining and ask for tea when you get the sniffles again!”
How about you, male readers? Do you take vitamins, minerals and oligoelements?
Graffiti on University St. in Montreal