You’re cured! Say thank you.

I have what is called Precordial Catch Syndrome. I kind of performed a self diagnosis, but my Mom confirms it. No worries, it’s nothing serious. Really.

It manifests through a sharp, acute pain in the heart area which gets worse when you breathe, or move, or do anything. The bad part is that when you first have it, you think you’re having a heart attack. The good part is that you’re not. And that it only takes around 30 seconds. Most of the times. Another good part is that if you have the guts to bite the bullet and take a deep breath the pain disappears instantly and you have the exact sensation of a soap bubble bursting in your chest, taking that pain away with it. Poof!

PCS is not caused by anything heart-related. It’s caused by some minuscule muscular spasms in the thoracic area which pinch or press on the nerves causing the intense pain.

Last time I had one of these attacks it lasted for a few minutes, and what’s worse is that the dull aftermath of the pain lingered for a few hours. When I got home from work I could feel the pain starting to build up again.

 

So I told D to leave me alone, and not bug me because THE PAIN WAS A BI-ATCH.

Do you think he listened? No. After a few thoughtful enquiries of the type “is there anything I can do” and several heartless “No. Go away” he took it up a notch. Would tickling you help? No? How about I give you a massage? No? Don’t want me to touch you? Why? You sick? Maybe a joke will help.

Did I tell you it hurt when I breathed? Yes? Well how do you think it felt when I muffled a laugh, all my abdominal and thoracic muscles crunched only to cause the most annoying snorts and puffs out of my nose and mouth.

I don’t recall his exact joke but am pretty sure the words “butt” and “tushie” were part of the punchline. It was funny. I couldn’t hold back the laugh any longer. So I let go. And you know what happened? The soap bubble. And the pain… poof! Gone.

“See how I cure you? With my LOOOVE!”

 

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Flower store across the street (taken with a Canon 100mm 2.8. Nice!)

 

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Comments (2)

  • oooh pretty flowers! And, what a wierd pain

    Reply
  • Mastercard moment, sort of…

    Smth like, cost of:

    – Being annoyed by your loving but somewhat (initially, and / or at least apparently) misguided boyfriend, one future frowning-caused wrinkle
    – Pain gone, one healthy, hearty laugh
    – Aww, shucks! – inspiring scene, PRICELESS!

    Reply

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