Have you really gone that far?

People! It really saddens me to say that some of you need some slapping. Yes, some slaps in the face to wake you up to reality because the road you’re walking on will lead you straight to that place called The Land of Stupidity.

People, I am on Facebook, as of not long ago [is this phrase correct?!] and I must admit, it’s proven to be a really useful thing. I’ve come across people I haven’t seen in 10 years, and that’s great. Sometimes, once in a while, not very often I may be the occasional stalker, meaning that I do look at people’s photos without leaving comments or marking my presence in any way, but that’s just pure curiosity, and let’s be honest, who hasn’t done that?

Be that as it may, I am really pissed at Facebook for unleashing these dumb quizzes and throwing those idiotic results right in my face. Am I the only one who thinks that asking for Facebook’s help in discovering “what is the soundtrack for you life” or “when will you get married” or “who would be your celebrity boyfriend” is just a tiny bit, oh, I don’t know, STUPID?

How are these specimens of someone’s obviously very low creative coefficient help you discover stuff about you in any way? Are you hoping that the result for “which mathematical function are you?” will be “you are the Awesome Function. You are awesome and this is an official scientific test that certifies your awesomeness. Share this with your friends so they’ll see just how awesome you are!”.

Here’s a quiz that at least in some cases gives you the straight dope.

When I open my Facebook and read that you are x% annoying and I see that x is not 100, let me just say, that’s a lot of BS you’ve been served, my friend. You simply cannot expect to be taken seriously after posting this abomination. And if you think this is some kind of joke, and that your buddies are going to be all “Oh, that Alice, she’s so funny, 82% annoying, isn’t she the best?” think again! Your buddies are thinking “thanks for wasting the 2 seconds of my life it took to scroll down away from this, you douche!”

Let’s see, what other crap is out there?

That’s right. Because if the rules of society, ethics and morale forbid you to sleep around in real life, why not add some “knotches in your Internet headboard”?

Oh, and there’s so much more where that came from.

To conclude, allow me to confirm that yes, I am indeed a real bitch.