Gawd! I hate talking on the phone. Actually, no, scratch that. I abhor talking on the phone, I have an aversion for it. Among all the methods of communication available to us humans today, I think talking on the phone is slightly ahead of carrier pigeons, but not by much.
I hate it because it’s so much harder to talk to someone when you’re not actually seeing them, imagining their reactions to what you’re saying, always wondering “is he rolling his eyes as I’m saying this?”. I hate those awkward pauses, which in a face to face situation could be easily filled by a giggle or a pensive/conclusive remark such as “so yeah…”. I hate being in the dark about things. I prefer emails. I can better structure my thoughts and be more coherent when I write. To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I would have done if I were living in the 80s when the telephone calls were the equivalent of texting today.
Fortunately my job doesn’t require that much telephone usage but D’s job on the other hand has him dialing a lot more often. Unlike me, though, he doesn’t hate it at all. But this doesn’t mean he hasn’t had his fair share of awkward telephone conversations.
X: “Hi, may I speak to Alexandra please?”
D: “Hi. She’s not here at the moment. This is her… umm… his… girlfriend, her… umm…”
X: “… boyfriend!”
X: “Hi, D. How are you doing?”
D: “I’m doing very… umm… fine.”
[Awkward 3-second silence during which he was supposed to return the question, but common sense failed him that instant]
D: “Yeah, so, about the blah blah…”
See what I mean? I dread this kind of situations. For me it’s like I’m passing thorough some kind of evaluation every time I speak on the phone. This reminds me of the “take it easy” phone message from Seinfeld. Maybe I should start eating an apple before making a phone call…
What are your thoughts on this?