I must confess I brought this on myself, although I don’t remember what I did exactly to set off this series of unfortunate/funny events.
Allow me to begin with the beginning.
It’s Friday morning, October the 16th.
I open my eyes… I feel rather rested, not tired at all which is a bit unusual for me given that I’m a lil’ bit sleep deprived. D has long gone to work. He’s an early bird. A 6:30 am early bird.
I yawn a bit, roll around in bed for 30 seconds, consider going back to sleep but then I decide to check the time. I reach for the old cell phone which I use as a clock. It’s on my nightstand. I can’t even see the digits right, my vision is still a bit blurry.
And then, I see it: those tiny LEDs lit up synchronously to “spell” 9:37. OMG! OMG! OMG! is what’s going through my mind. Followed by WTF? WTF?! WTF! I overslept! And then I think I made a mental Note to Self: “buy alarm clock!”.
At this point you may ask: why don’t you use the cell phone as an alarm clock? Or why don’t you possess any alarm clocks for that matter? A long answer would be that first of all that old cell phone is total crap, probably THE oldest version of a Nokia.
The keys don’t function, you risk breaking a phalange if you attempt dialing any number containing the digits 5, 2, 7 and 8 which means it is impossible for me to set an alarm around 7 or 8 o’clock.
And second, I don’t have any alarm clocks in my house because I haven’t found any pretty ones. Ones that say “Buy me, I will look pretty on your nightstand and you will resist the urge to hit me when my alarm goes off at 7:30 am”. There. If you have any suggestions about clocks I could buy, feel free to suggest them.
I quickly put on my clothes, brush my teeth, wash my face, grab my laptop and run out the door thinking “There goes this Journal Club…”. Now I open another parenthesis:
We have this thing at work called Journal Club which is probably familiar to many of you geeks out there. It’s a practice common in many research institutes like ours, where students must present an article in front of other fellow students and sometimes senior(er) researchers, an article which they found interesting for their research. Usually there are snacks which is always a good move.
As students at this institute of ours we have to attend said Journal Clubs.
Of course at 9:37 +… the Journal Club is almost over. Crap!
Fortunately I live 2 min from the lab, so I don’t have to worry about smelling smelly armpits of commuters in the metro or watching sleepy people become bobble heads as they doze off on the bus. When I got to the lab it couldn’t have been more than 9:50-9:55.
But there is nobody there. Hmmm… Is there a meeting I wasn’t aware of? And as I’m thinking this people start coming into the office. First one, then 2, then 3. Why is everyone late? I didn’t want to ask “Hey, do you know what time it is?” because it would come out like “hey, do you think this is an appropriate time to come to work?”. I would look like a major jerk!
Except IT WAS AN APPROPRIATE TIME TO COME TO WORK.
When everybody started showing up, obviously not coming back from a secret meeting I wasn’t aware of, the synapses started firing in my half-asleep brain.
So although my computer said 9:57, I quickly googled “what’s the time” and the US Naval Observatory told me IT WAS ACTUALLY 8:57.
A bit confused? Allow me to explain.
I could actually limit my explanation to one word. One letter actually and you would quickly figure out the mischief. D!
Yes, he was of course behind all the morning panic, confusion and madness. And he was trying to get back to me for something I did (I can’t remember what, though…).
He set the time on the crappy phone one hour ahead, he changed the time on my laptop, and… AND! just so you can see how far his sneakiness can go, he also changed the time on his computer just in case I decided to use his in the morning.
Fiendish, what did I tell you?
At around 11 am or so that day, he was courteous enough to call me at work and ask me, almost chocking on his chuckles, “Honey, I just wanted to know… Is everything ok?”.
Everything is perfect, darling. You know I’ll get you for this, don’t you?! When you least expect it. Muaha ha ha ha!