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When sleep is hard to come by

Wednesday night D had a very bright idea [notice how I use italics for sarcasm].

Since he’s waking up at 6:30 am for work, every day, he’s usually beat before 10pm at night.

It happened many times that we’re watching a movie or a show, and I’m making snarky or witty comments about this chick or that dude in the movie, and I’m expecting a reaction, a giggle, a “Megan Fox is so not hot! Did you see her toe-thumb?” remark. But when I turn around all I see is a D that’s sound asleep and probably having a weird dream about hacking Exchange servers.


And I envy him so badly! So, so badly! How can he fall asleep with a 5.1 audio system hitting him with decibels from all angles? How can he sleep on the couch? And most importantly WHY CAN’T I DO THAT?


Why is it that for me to fall asleep total silence, plus  the exact optimal temperature, plus a certain type of blanket, plus no fidgeting from the sleep companion are required?


So about D’s bright idea: on Wednesday night he told me “why don’t we go to bed really early? If you go to bed at 9, you’ll wake up at the same time as me, so we’ll spend a little bit more time in the morning. And you’ll see how many things you can get done in the morning before you leave for work!”


Very appealing a suggestion. So I fell for it. I showered, brushed my teeth, changed into my PJs and proceeded to the sleeping quarters.

Do you think I slept at all until 12am? No! A big fat no!


All these little thoughts began crawling into my wide-awake mind. Some really ridiculously random ones, too. Like “I wonder what curtains would go best in our bedroom. This bed sucks. We should get a softer one. Clouds are so soft. Cotton candy… I love cotton candy. Last time I had it was in Paris. I love that watercolor painting I bought from Montmartre.”


This thought jumping kept me awake for about 1 hr. In the meantime I changed my pillow, my blanket, my position from back to side to stomach to other side. I pulled the curtains better, I went to the bathroom, I drank some water, I got up again to close the water tap tighter because I could hear the dripping through the wall.

I’m telling you I was like a Ninja in an ultimate state of awareness, right before he catches one of those metal stars between his palms, 2 inches from his face.


Then D started talking in his sleep. Usually I find it funny, but not this time. This time I just wanted to slap him. Fortunately he didn’t have much to say that night so his nocturnal conversation to whoever it was he was dreaming about (again, maybe the Exchange server) ended rather abruptly.


That was when I thought well, this is not going that great. And I was getting angry, and my body temperature was rising, so at that point I just got up and went to the living room. Although the sofa is not long enough, meaning if I lay down my feet are up on the armrests, I managed to curl into a fetal position, started telling myself “don’t think of anything, don’t think of anything” and finally… finally, I fell asleep.


No idea for how long I managed to sleep, because next thing I know, D came searching for me, all alarmed and confused about my disappearance “Honey what are you doing here?”. Needless to say this candid proof of affection woke me up. Shit!

Comments (4)

  • I have similar sleep issues and can totally relate. I’ve actually found that when I can’t sleep and am all fidgety the best thing to do is just surrender to it and do some reading until I finally dose off. But then again, what do I know? I’m often sleep-deprived.

  • Hey,
    Hope you get more sleep tonight… I can’t help much, but to say that I’m a light sleeper (I wake up even for shifting my position, or when he shifts position)… I used to be worse before leaving home , INSA cured that by imposing the environment (I used to not stand light when going to bed , or noise, well… having a room mate and the fridge just behind my bed + being much more tired than in highschool cured that straight away). I’m sort of half thankful, now I can fall asleep faster… when nothing haunts me like it happened to you…

    The worst part is that trying to fall asleep when I’m not tired does the same to me, I jump thoughts and then, even worse, realize I’m doing it and try to recover the total line of thought that brought me there in the first place…

    Luckily, I like waking up early, I have energy all day, but I also kind of fall down at about 10-10:30 with some movie /series so… that’s how I avoid the thinking …

    Good luck with you two finding the good wake up time !


  • If I am very tired during the day, I can fall asleep in front of anything blaring in my ears.

    BF too. But he needs less sleep than I, and even if he sleeps around the same time as me, he is up at like 6 a.m. BANGING ON DISHES IN THE KITCHEN

    Which wakes ME up, to which I am a very grumpy FB who cannot figure out why he’s making such a racket when I am clearly trying to stay conked out.

    He wakes up earlier and sleeps about the same time as me… go figure

    As for your thoughts — if it ever becomes a To Do list, keep a pen and pad by your bed. I write down all my To Do items so I don’t forget them or stress about forgetting them.

  • Gosh, I wish I could sleep in ’til 6:30! As it is now, I’m up at 5 a.m. Got to get ready for school, ya know…1st period starts at 7:30 sharp! SITS sent me by, and I’m glad they did…Hope you and yours had the Best Turkey Day Ever!

    Thanksgiving Reflections


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