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Escalator police

Commuters are in dire need of an escalator rules and regulations book. Or the ten commandments of the mobile staircase if you will. You may think this is funny or thrown out there on a whim, but I am dead serious. As serious as I’ve always been on this blog, that is. Now that I’m commuting just like the rest of the populace I cannot help but get annoyed by the lack of general organisation everywhere. Especially on the escalators.


Unless I’m atrociously tired and it takes considerable mental effort to move my feet from one step to another, I walk up the escalator. Why waste precious seconds, right? Most of the time all is ok, I manage to catch my bus and everybody is happy.

But other times, oh boy! There’s always an idiot who hasn’t learnt to stay on the right side and who successfully manages to block access and augment blood pressure for everybody else who’s in a hurry. Sometimes I manage to get passed them only to realise there’s not just one idiot, but several! And then feelings of frustration and hopelessness take over me and I just sink in a world of desolate solitude, impassable at the nugatory struggle that is the human existence… Ok, not really; I got a bit carried away with my kafkian (apparently this is not a word) speech here. Suffice it to say the aforementioned idiotic behaviour does not a happy camper make!


That being said, my absolute favourite commuters (and by favourite I mean the ones whose ass I would kick if I were a martial arts expert or had slight manic tendencies) are the ones who start climbing the stairs and then suddenly stop. I have no idea what goes thorough their minds – do they get tired? Bored with the step-step-step routine? Are they just teasing? And of course they can’t squish in on the right side because there is no space anymore, so they just end up making people like me blow smoke out their nostrils.


Of course the fact that the two metro stations I regularly get off at are functioning with only one escalator does not help a bit. Arrgh! Other than that life’s good, thanks for asking.


Bet you didn’t know what nugatory meant, right? My intelligence blows your mind, admit it!

Comments (1)

  • Yeah that used to bother me too. I don’t mind if people just want to ride the escalator but get out of everyone else’s way!! The worst is when they stand right in the middle and put one hand on either side and bend over like they are on a ride. AHHHHHH!


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