I am a little late to join the How I Met Your Mother trend, but I’m there now, guys. And boy, is it good! I mean, I
loved LOVED!!!!!! Friends, but I think I can quote stuff from it if in my sleep. Another sitcom had to take its place. I know a lot people say it’s not as good as Friends, that it cannot reach that level of legendary but I disagree. HIMYM is awesome! And so are Barney’s suits – I mean the skinny ties and the Armani suits are making me want to pause, take a screenshot, add it to my Pinterest board called “Suit Up” and then coerce D into going outfit shopping.
Obviously my favorite character is Barney.
Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro—I’m Broda!
Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can’t. You’re way out of practice and she’s way too hot for you. So, remember, it’s not about scoring. It’s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can’t. Go get ’em, tiger!
It’s gonna be legend-… wait for it… and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!
In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.
God, it’s me, Barney. What up? I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.
I am not a smoker. I only smoke in certain situations: post-coital, when I’m with Germans (sometimes those two overlap), coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, pre-coital, on a sailboat, the day the Mets are mathematically eliminated every year, and, of course—wait for it—’cause Lord knows I have—pregnancy scares.
D likes Marshall.
Here’s the thing Barney, I’m snuggly, you’re not. Who wouldn’t want to snuggle up to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped up in a comforter and it’s raining outside and there’s muffins warming in the over… I’m cuddly bitch, deal with it.
And you know what? Enough with those “Keep Calm” posters. Let’s replace them with this.