Obviously my favorite character is Barney.

Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro—I’m Broda!

Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can’t. You’re way out of practice and she’s way too hot for you. So, remember, it’s not about scoring. It’s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can’t. Go get ‘em, tiger!

It’s gonna be legend-… wait for it… and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.

God, it’s me, Barney. What up? I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.

I am not a smoker. I only smoke in certain situations: post-coital, when I’m with Germans (sometimes those two overlap), coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, pre-coital, on a sailboat, the day the Mets are mathematically eliminated every year, and, of course—wait for it—’cause Lord knows I have—pregnancy scares.

D likes Marshall.

Here’s the thing Barney, I’m snuggly, you’re not. Who wouldn’t want to snuggle up to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped up in a comforter and it’s raining outside and there’s muffins warming in the over… I’m cuddly bitch, deal with it.

And you know what? Enough with those “Keep Calm” posters. Let’s replace them with this.

D: The lids on these plastic coffee cups are pretty sturdy.

Me: I sense a good story behind that sentence. Go on, tell me.

D: Well, it happens very frequently when I go to work – I have to somehow juggle a cup of scolding coffee, a muffin, watching a TV show on the iPad and the messenger bag that keeps falling off my shoulder. I sometimes get greedy and actually want to take a bite of the muffin. Getting it out of the paper bag with just one hand is a contortion exercise in itself, but somehow I manage to do it. Then I place the cup of coffee on the iPad, like on a tray… Why are you making that face? But that’s when, somehow, the very delicate balance is broken and I drop the coffee.

[Laughter ensues, on both parts]

D: So back to the lid. Not only do I not spill coffee on myself – well, who am I kidding, not only do I not spill A LOT of coffee on myself, it’s inevitable – or the people in the elevator… Did I mention this happens in the elevator? But also, after this spastic episode, I pick up the cup, and… coffee. I still have my coffee after performing a Cirque du Soleil juggling act.

—

Talk about first world problems, right?

[photo by me]

We decorated our chubby tree (kudos to D for picking it out), roasted chestnuts and had peppermint hot chocolate.

Doesn’t the city look wonderful? Under the falling snow and a bit of fog (♥)?

Have a lovely holiday time, darlings! Stay warm and cozy.

^{[All pictures by me]}

The pain is kicking my ass big time. It hurts to swallow even the tiniest bit of saliva, and since I cannot eat much, I keep thinking about all the yummy foods I would eat and guess what? More saliva. *Facepalm*.

But check out this version of the trailer, which turns The Shining into a comedy.

The following is to give you an idea of what the atmosphere is like around here. I’m trying to stretch out my legs and take a break so I get up from my chair, take two steps and reach D’s desk. I pass my hand through his hair, messing it around a bit and give him a kiss. In the meantime he’s so focused on his photos that he doesn’t even blink, let alone acknowledge my presence.

Me: You smell like chocolate. Have you had chocolate?

D: Chocolate? What is chocolate?