Last weekend D and I got to reminiscing.
He told me how when he was little he set the kitchen curtain on fire and how he liked throwing lit matches off the balcony.
So he liked living on the edge? What 7-year-old doesn’t? I liked playing with fire when I was little too, but my grandmommy used to tell me that I’ll pee my pants during the night if I keep rummaging through the hot coals with a stick. I had a feeling it wasn’t true, but when you’re 6 years old you can’t really tell your grandma HEY GRAMS’ I BET THAT’S NOT HOW SYNAPSES WORK!
Anyway, back to D now…
If you must know he still likes playing with fire, and that’s not just a figure of speech.
See how mesmerized he is in this photo?
“I bet I like it so much because my parents wouldn’t let me play with fire” he said.
At which point I was all “YES! Because that’s what parents do! They don’t just hand you a box of matches and say ‘Son, now that you know how to read, it’s time you learnt how to light a match and set a curtain on fire. And when you’re done with that I’ll let you stick a fork in that socket!'”
“I’m going to teach my children about fire” he went on. Which I know he is not serious about, but it’s extremely entertaining hearing his discourses about his future children’s education so I kept listening.
“Yes, I am going to tell them how fire works and how you can use it. Because fire is important. It’s one of the primary elements. And it was one of the parts that made up Captain Planet!”
Apparently for some people (read: my boyfriend) primary elements are not mentally associated with the harmony and wholesomeness of the Universe, but with this guy:
I can almost imagine D telling our future offspring: “Children, pay attention! Daddy is going to tell you the Fire story. Once upon a time there was a big storm and lightning struck the Earth. Which made a tree catch fire. And that’s how man discovered the last element he needed to summon Captain Planet. THE END.”