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The bestest, most kick-ass human genome project

I think most of you have heard of The Human Genome Project, initiated by the NIH and aimed at sequencing the entire human genome and identifying all the 25K genes that harmoniously work together so we can exist and write blogs!

For this project cell lines from a group of anonymous and ethnically diverse individuals were used.

But the guys over at Science Creative Quarterly came up with an even better idea:

we plan to use the genomes of individuals handpicked by the editorial staff of People magazine, a move we feel will cater to the desires of you and your friends

So here is who they picked:

People’s Choice Favourite Motion Picture Actor – Harrison Ford
How can any human genome project not have samples from the man revered as Han Solo and Indiana Jones? The man who has uttered such immortal words as “Punch it Chewie,” and “Nazi’s – I hate these guys.” In related news, Mondo-Genetic-Services has also tried to recruit his girlfriend Calista Flockhart into the project, but has recently learnt that she simply did not have enough tissue.

The acidic remark about Calista almost made me swallow my bubble gum 😀

People’s Choice Most Interesting Person of African Descent – Olusegun Obasanjo
Through email correspondence, the editorial staff of People Magazine have finalized an agreement to sequence the DNA of President Obasanjo, of Nigeria. In return and given their capacity to act as an overseas partner in a balance account transfer from the Central Bank of Nigeria, he will place 20% of US$21,320,000.00 (TWENTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS) into their corporate accounts.

Who hasn’t received at least one email from the Nigerian president, raise your hand! This reminds me of the Boom! Roasted! episode from The Office when Pam says “Once every hour a person is involved in internet scam. That person is Michael Scott.”

People’s Choice Favourite Television Comedy Series – Cast of “Who’s the Boss”
In an attempt to secure DNA sequences that espouse the best of American family virtues, the Bestest, Most Kick Ass, Human Genome Project will obtain tissue samples from the entire cast of “Who’s the Boss.” This will include cells taken from Tony Danza, Judith Light, Katherine Helmond, Alyssa Milano, and even the little boy whose name no one can remember.

There’s a famous list travelling around the Internets entitled “You know you’ve grown up in the 90s if…”. Well, watching Who’s the Boss should definitely be on that list!


Have a good Friday!

Comments (3)

  • sadly, when I was a baby my mom watched whose the boss…. so, without knowledge, I watched it too.

  • > [About Sandra Bullock]
    > Besides, the editorial staff of People magazine
    > all agree that she “is really hot, but in a nice > way.”

    Here here!


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