Did I tell you about my trip to Savannah? It was my first taste of Southern US. And it wasn’t sweet at all.
I had heard such wonderful things about it. The nice trees, the Forsyth fountain, I couldn’t wait to walk around, enjoy the food, maybe buy some souvenirs…
But what can I tell you, it did not rise up to my expectations. It could be because I went to Savannah right after I came back from Paris and Venice, probably the two most beautiful and romantic cities on the planet. Compared to that, Savannah seemed like flying coach after you’ve stretched your legs and sunk in the armchairs in first class. It was like eating a Sub after you’ve eaten fillet mignons and gnocchi for your entire life. Ok, enough said.
The first impression was that of a sauna. The moment you step out of the airport, you realize you’re not in Kansas anymore, but at the tropics. The cab driver speaks with a Jamaican accent. “No, man, it’s not safe to walk outside at night, man. Especially for a woman”. Ummm… Can I go home now? Canadians don’t lock their front doors, I think I like that better.
We enter the historical part of the city which is where our hotel is. I was expecting a taller Marriott. Maybe it was because they didn’t want to interfere with all the history that was in the air. The AC is turned on to the max inside, and after you spend the whole day
at the North Pole in the tundra (let’s not exaggerate!), you inevitably get a sore throat and are doomed to drink only hot herbal tea for the rest of the stay. And by “you” I mean “I”.
One evening we walked up to the Forsyth Park to see the amazing fountain! Lemme give it to you straight: it looks so much better in photos. Its appeal is hugely overrated and the anemic sprinklers are ruining it altogether!
Also, the air is so so SO HUMID that I felt I was in the tropics region at the Montreal Biodome. I expected to hear monkeys and parrots and see weird species of butterflies flying over my head. It was in fact so humid that the map I was holding in my hand got wet. No bull! Do you know how paper gets when it gets rained on? Not a lot, just a few drops of water. That’s how the map felt in my hands.
Even the food sucked. But as I’ve said, after the exquisite French baguette sandwiches, I could have had anything and it would have tasted like eating the food they had in The Matrix. Not to mention that I had to prick my ears like a greyhound to understand what the waiters were saying. Most of the times, out of a 10 second-long question the only thing I understood was “y’all”. So I would just stand there for a few seconds, trying to see whether in retrospect it would make any sense, discover it didn’t and then say “Sorry, we all what?”
To be fair, there were some things I liked about Savannah: The Candy Kitchen which looked like a scene from Charlie and the chocolate factory, and the beautiful Southern houses like the Mercer Williams where Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil was filmed in 1997.
Next time I’ll tell you about what happened at Five Guys Burgers and Fries in Savannah.
Yes, that’s a restaurant name, I didn’t just make it up!
I’ll leave you with Savannah’s Paula Dean. We all need comfort food, y’all!