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Improve Your Relationship Today in 5 Easy Steps: a guest post by The Naked Redhead

I’m really excited to share with you guys today a guestpost from one of my favorite bloggers out there, The Naked Redhead.

She’s no ordinary redhead, no sir! She’s got beauty, brains and a killer sense of humor. You simply MUST read the post where she expresses her opinion on New Moon, her posts on readers’ dating horror stories and her Thursday posts at The Secret Society of List Addicts.

About the Redhead:

The Naked Redhead writes about dating, relationships and New Moon drivel at her aptly named blog, The Naked Redhead.  When she’s not writing, she enjoys reading, shopping and avoiding a good workout.  She lives in Columbus, Ohio with her boyfriend, two cats and neurotic dog.


The Naked Redhead


Without further ado…

Improve Your Relationship Today in 5 Easy Steps

Relationships are a lot of work.  Yes, we’ve heard our mothers say this for years, but just like that time she TOLD us we’d really regret purchasing those goucho pants, we had to figure it out for ourselves.  Here’s a few simple tricks I’ve learned to immediately improve a relationship.


1.  Quit Being "Fair"–Couples who are dedicated to a 50/50 relationship will always be disappointed.  He’ll forget to take out the trash, or she’ll continue to leave her underwear on the floor.  50/50 makes relationships one sided ("I did my part, but HE didn’t do his!"), and sets up couples for all sorts of disappointment.  Of course, each person should be dedicated to doing his or her "part", but, if he leaves the dish on the coffee table for the umpteenth time, just pick it up and put it away.  Do not have a standoff about the bowl…it will not move, and it’s better to put it away now and have a rational conversation later than to throw a mini-temper tantrum about your 51%.


2.  Spend Some Time Together–I get it, we are all busy.  So take some time this evening–even if it’s just five minutes–to touch base with each other.  Forget the usual, "how was your day?" get a little deeper with questions that begin with "how are you feeling about…".  Turn off the TV and eat dinner at the table or out at your favorite place.  No "deep" conversation is necessary, but sometimes a little face time is all you need to reconnect. 


3.  Spend Some Time Apart–Sure, it contradicts # 2, but there’s not much more that skeeves me out than couples who cannot spend time away from each other.  The relationship starts to feel horribly inbred (for lack of a better word), and it’s almost as if those couples forget how to function with other members of society.  Remember who you are (and were!) and make sure to keep that independent part of you strong.


4.  Start a New Tradition–Whether it’s Pizza Friday, Movie Tuesday, or Thong Thursday, start a weekly or monthly tradition that you and  your partner can look forward to doing together.  Make sure it’s something fun that doesn’t need the company of others…it’s just the two of you!


5.  Be Honest–Of course you know it’s important to be honest with your partner in a relationship, but it’s also important to be honest with yourself.  What’s REALLY bothering you about his socks on the floor?  Is it REALLY necessary to berate her for the fifth time for chomping her gum?  Maybe, with a little honest reflection, you’ll see that little problems aren’t your partner’s fault at all, but something you can tweak your attitude about.  Of course, if something is really bothering you, make sure to talk about it calmly and kindly and seek to find a solution together.


What are little things you do to improve your relationships?


Thanks dear Redhead!

Comments (4)

  • Love that you had her here talking about this! I will have to file this away for use in the very near future!


  • I got married a month ago, and I think my wife and I are in the throes of number 1. We still //do// the stuff the other is supposed to, but I think we complain too much about it. Like when I have to clean the bathtub or something when she said she’d take care of it.

    I think it comes down to picking our battles, and in the end, a little hair on the drain isn’t worth starting a fight over.

    Good tips, Red!

  • I think that spending time apart is essential. Because, as the song says, “How can I miss you when you won’t go away?”

  • Very well put…not currently being in a relationship, I’m wonderfully immune, but I see your very well made points, TNR.


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